Showing newest 2 of 5 posts from December 2008. Show older posts
Showing newest 2 of 5 posts from December 2008. Show older posts

Thursday, December 25, 2008

It's ten degrees. Time to go outside!


I can't imagine anything more enjoyable than going to a bad neighborhood to fish through a junkyard in the dead of winter.

Bonus! Bernie Mac sighting inside.




It all started with the Cadillac, my brother's 1992 Seville. One day after coming backing from the grocery store, he noticed his blower motor continued to run after shutting off the car. Before he could figure out what to do, the battery died.

The blower control module and blower motor were toast, so we headed across town to a couple junkyards.


After exiting I-70, I saw a guy jump out of his minivan in an attempt to push it UP the ramp. It started to slide backwards toward him so he leaped in and hit the brakes. I sat there at the stoplight trying not to laugh at his misfortune.


I got out and offered to help. With some back and knee injuries from my car accident, I wasn't able to help push. The front end smelled like burning oil and when I unscrewed the oil cap, smoke came pouring out. He informed me in an urban slang that the oil had not been changed in a long, long time. This Kia Sedona was done at only 103,000 miles.


The part was $100 from dealers, but he was hoping to spend that on driving to Washington this winter instead. I found a place in the phone book (I still use those!) called Riverside/Speedway on Hall and Hudson on the north side of St Louis.

Before I could leave, the Crossfire's battery refused to cooperate, giving me nothing but relay clicks when I tried to start it. I had my roommate drive me over to mom's where the van was parked, and I ended up spending the next few days using it as a giant battery charger, jump starting the Crossfire and the Seville as needed.


The pockmarked roads punished the Crossfire. I should have driven the van.


There was a sign that said "ROAD MAY BE FLOODED OR ICY" that I didn't take seriously until a MASSIVE series of waves engulfed my little Crossfire. It looked like that scene in Maryland where a large water main broke and left people stranded. I hit the brakes hard, the trucks coming the opposite direction passed, and the water subsided.


With a small box of sockets and screwdrivers in hand plus our $1 per person entry fee, we entered the yard.


In a dress shirt and suit jacket, I came inappropriately outfitted.


Finding the part was easy. We ended up buying three (there are two versions of the same blower control module) and returning one.


Yay, spares!

As I was leaving the checkout counter I saw the late Bernie Mac! [Well, a strong likeness of him.]

The guy at the counter greeted him as a regular, "Hey man! What's goin' on! What can I get ya?"

Bernie, as he shall be called, a tall and loud black man dressed in a leather trench coat said as he pulled off his seasonally inappropriate sunglasses, "Why don't you hook me up with a battery, I NEED one"

Behind Bernie were a bunch of younger guys, his entourage, who all looked like Lil Jon:

No, I am not exaggerating.

As I loaded parts and tools into the back of the Crossfire, Bernie Mac and his people walked past and said "Ey man, that ain't no junkyard car. That's brand new! What you doin at a junk yard man?"

I paused and said "Uhh, its for another car! Heh..."


He and his people got into a dented Ford Explorer and took off.

That was my brush with fake dead celebrity.


I got to that point where I was so cold and miserable, I started to feel warm. I kept the GMC van running next to the Cadillac so I could jump in for occasional heat and recharge the battery in the Seville.


Checked the electricals with the help of folks at CadillacOwners.com.

After some scrapes and a broken wire harness that required a visit to Radio Shack, the Cadillac was back on the road with heat. Its been a while since I've done any DIY projects; I forgot how much I enjoyed the feeling of accomplishment.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

ROAD TRIP! Florida to Missouri in a Chrysler Crossfire


I forgot to bring my Kodak, so all I had was my camera phone. I apologize for the blurry photos.



I was hoping to see other people and do more things while I was down there but my trip was cut short. Mom needed a ride to the airport (she's off to Thailand and Australia) and my cousin had an accident in his $380 Altima that I found for him three years ago. Its a shame that the lady hit him, but that reliable little Nissan paid for itself over and over and over.

My mom also got into an accident that same week in her Lexus GX, and my other cousin needed me to help him with car registration stuff. Mom also needed help with computer stuff. The whole family was clawing at me, so I packed my bags and headed home.

The St Louis airport/Lambert Field is kind of a crap heap. After American Airlines bought TWA, routes were closed and traffic has declined. To save money, they closed down all of Concourse D, which was mostly just a connecting hallway between the Main and East terminal anyway. A couple smaller carriers like Frontier used it, but they now have to share space with Southwest, which dominates Concourse E.

The airline I used, USA 3000 (excellent by the way), charged only $64.99 for a ticket to Ft Meyers FL. In-flight preprogrammed TV, music, and movies are free.

Anyway, because USA3000 is a tiny carrier with only nine aircraft in their fleet, they were relegated to a corner of Concourse E. There were no news stands, one bathroom that flushed poorly and lacked toilet paper and paper towels, no food, no drinks, and no television. The carpet, walls, and seating looked like they were pulled out of a warehouse full of early 80s junk.

After looking around and around for a socket to plug in my laptop and cell phone, I finally found one. It was dangling out of the wall! I used it anyway. Whatever they spent on in-flight entertainment, excellent customer service, and timely flights, they had nothing left for outfitting the terminal.


This is the bathroom sink in the exiled corner of Concourse E. The soap and water dispensers are both motion-activated, and both were terribly faulty. I waved my hands hoping for water and got soap, and when I tried to wash off the soap I got even more soap! I was stuck in an endless cycle of automatic water and soap, unable to get out. I finally gave up and went to wipe my hands, but the paper towels were gone. I had to reach into my bag for a paper towel.

When I landed, Ian discovered that a tire was nearly punctured, so he picked me up in the Cadillac.

After the BMW was totaled, I told him I would take the Crossfire off his hands only if certain conditions were met. The defects (power locks, intercooler pump, tire, rustproofing) all needed to be taken care of, and he needed to pay for the insurance for a year.




Well, he never did get around to fixing any of the issues (extended warranty is included, so I'll have to take it in myself), so he found a shop with a used and matching Continental tire for only $50.

An initial review of the Crossfire is here: http://www.haddawaycars.com/2008/11/i-went-down-to-tampa-for-minivacation.html

It really is a gorgeous car. In pictures it looks stubby because DaimlerChrysler decided to force the design to fit the wheelbase of the SLK, but in person the lines and flanks are dramatic. When I see a red Corvette or yellow Hummer, I feel a little bit of juvenile joy, like a kid playing with his toys, smashing them into each other while making engine noises. I get the same feeling looking at the Crossfire. Its a toy for grownups who feel like kids. Its loud and boisterous -- I love it.

I am a total sucker for weird cars with strange background stories. The Crossfire is a product of a historic and disastrous merger between Chrysler and Daimler-Benz. The Mazda 929 I owned (two, both 1988) was one of Mazda's early and ominously failed attempts at offering luxury to Americans. No one bought them, and most have been driven into the ground. The Q45 (I also owned two) was a pioneer, known more for its failed marketing than its world-class 300hp V8.


Since Ian's mom was the primary driver of the Crossfire, he had to get something for her to take to work. For $2500 out the door, he found a 1995 Taurus SHO automatic with only 80,000 miles.

Review of the SHO here: http://www.haddawaycars.com/2008/12/sho-nuf-1995-ford-taurus-sho-in-stable.html

The inside is typical 90s Ford -- a good-looking design with cheap materials and buttons that like to break. All of the climate control buttons are cracked and the doors sound like a dumpster lid when you close them. The ergonomics are terrible, to be generous. Ford remedied the poorly located radio by places volume and preset controls up high on the dash, but even those are a bit of an odd reach. The ideal solution in this case would be an iPod with a steering wheel mounted remote from Belkin or Scosche.


Thats fine, because it scoots to 60 in just over 6 seconds, outrunning the Q45, Maxima, Seville STS, Mark VIII, Mustang GT, and most new sedans. It probably helps that the sheet metal is about as thick as tinfoil, but thats fine too because it handles [i]beautifully[/i]. Despite plenty of body roll, it grips nicely, turns swiftly, and offers predictable and manageable understeer.

It even looks good.


Like a lot of Mercury and top-level Ford products from that era, the seats are infinitely adjustable. You can change how tightly those fat side bolsters hold you in. And yes, the seats are as squishy and comfortable as they look.


The factory spoiler integrates an LED CHMSL (center high mounted stop light) and the rear bumper has a subtle SHO logo. The wheels are sharp too, with wide 16" tires.


Yamaha's V6 sounds amazing, as smooth as the Nissan VH45 V8 with the throaty depth of GM's Northstar.



We took our cars to Landry's to enjoy some oysters on the bay. I also had swordfish.


The SHO's JBL subwoofer was blown, so we tapped the wires and plugged in an Alpine box. I was able to fit comfortably in the trunk.


I unplugged my shaver after showering and blew the outlet. Oops.



Bought clothes. Lost a little bit of weight since 2007.


Later that night we stopped at Dew Cadillac-Hummer, which was in the middle of being converted into Dew Cadillac-Rolls Royce-Lotus-Bentley. Apparently they dumped their Hummer franchise. That was my first time seeing a Cadillac dealer integrated with top-tier European luxury.



This 360 is the closest I've ever physically been to a Ferrari.


Distinct Hummer building in the process of remodeling.


Rolls Royces are inside, but the banners still mention Hummer and GM's Onstar.


The air mattress that I had the privilege of calling home for a week.


With time to myself, I took the Crossfire out for a cruise. My first destination was the Gulf of Mexico.

At a gas station on Gandy Blvd, a homeless man held the door open for me, spoke to me articuately, called me [b]sir[/b], and asked how my day was. I was impressed by his performance, so when he very politely asked for change I gave him a dollar. He told me to have a great day and I said the same.

While leaving the bank and waiting to pull into traffic, a cute little blonde in a grey Crossfire looked over and gave me a wave. Nice little bonus to a day that was going well.




Took some pictures by the Gandy bridge.


I thought this was odd. The train tracks bisected a road. While the train was passing by, a Camry crossed the intersection right next to it.


The south beach in Clearwater FL.


I brought with me a soda and a $7.50 burrito from Moe's, which was flavorless and bland.






Indian Rock Beach. I drove down the little island/peninsula and came back up 275.

On the I-275 bridge late at night, I played highway tag with a black G35 coupe. He soared past at 90mph, so I flew from 60 to 100 in no time (LOVE that supercharger). He responded by hitting 110, then I hit 120, and eventually I decided that despite the highway being empty, I couldn't afford a ticket and didn't want to get mangled in an accident, so I backed off. With the windows open, the music loud, and the bay on both sides of the causeway, it was like a scene out of a movie. I'll definitely remember it.


A couple days later I saw something on Google Maps called the Bob Graham Sunshine Skyway Bridge. It was a long stretch of I-275 that connected St Petersburg to Bradenton. Alongside were fishing piers. $1 toll and worth every penny for the incredible view.



I pulled off on to the pier and parked at the Gulf where I watched the sun set.


In this terrible photo is a Camaro. It was cold outside and a couple kids were parked on the pier with their hood open. They attempted to drive from Clearwater to Miami but didn't get very far, experiencing a total loss of battery power and a dashboard that lit up like it was Christmas.

He described the situation and I told him his alternator was toast, and that despite passing a brief voltage test at Autozone, the warning noises he heard indicated impending failure. I advised him to buy an AC Delco part, offered my phone and a ride (he already had family coming to get him), shook hands, and continued on my way.


Also as a condition of taking the Crossfire, I made Ian give up his refrigerator and his old Sony TV, both of which fit nicely into the hatch and front seat.


Trinitron was belted in for its own safety.


Later on, the fridge turned out to be an excellent desk. At gas stations I took out my laptop and got online with Sprint to check my mail, maps, and forums.
I averaged 24.5 mpg!


"I drove all night..." to get to Motel 6.


I got my 40 bucks worth. The room was clean and equipped with a fridge, desk, bed, and bathroom. I checked in at 7am and left at 8pm.

The drive home was pretty comfortable. The ride was firm but well damped, like the drum head of a timpani. Only in Kentucky did it become irritating.
My affection for this car is growing with each mile.

Did I mention how much I love southerners? So darn friendly. Even women I've dated never called me darling, baby doll, or sweetheart.


I wish I had a garage to protect it from the cruel outside world. Its 10F right now with ice and "wintry mix". The poor little Chrysler must be horrified by the change from its native home in Florida. I feel like going out there with a cup of hot cocoa and putting a blanket over it.